How to Motivate a Person with ADHD
By: Gina Romero, LICSW, LCSW, ADHD Specialist
Spoiler: It’s not about willpower. It’s about PINCH.
So, you’re an ADHDer who’s trying to motivate yourself to do something. Or maybe someone you love an ADHDer, and you’re baffled as to how they can deep-clean the house at 3 a.m. but haven’t started that paper that’s due in six hours. Welcome to the weird world of ADHD motivation.
My name is Gina Romero and I’m a licensed therapist who specializes in ADHD. I’m also an ADHDer myself, and you’ll see some of my personal examples in this post. Let’s dive in!
Let’s be clear about something from the start; ADHDers aren’t lazy, and I promise you it will make things worse if you call them lazy. As a therapist who has spent countless hours helping ADHDers un-learn the belief that they’re lazy, I’m kindly asking you not to call your ADHDer lazy. Their brains just needs different fuel to get going. Here’s your cheat sheet:
So, what is PINCH?
P = Play
I = Interest
N = Novelty
C = Challenge
H = Hurry (or a Deadline)
If a task hits at least one of these? You’re more likely to get it done. Hit two or more? Now we’re talking.
1. Play
Play doesn’t have that you turn everything into a game show. For ADHDers, it means approaching tasks with a spirit of creativity, curiosity, or even just making things slightly less boring. Here are some practical ways you might do that:
Turning on a podcast while you fold laundry so it feels like your brain has something fun to do while your hands work? That’s play.
Making your to-do list in colorful markers because it feels more engaging than typing it into your notes app? Also play!
Play can look like putting on music while you clean, changing locations while you work, or wearing your favorite hoodie because it makes you feel more like yourself. If something feels lifeless or soul-crushing, ask yourself: How can I make this even 10% more enjoyable?
If it’s boring, make it a game. You don’t grow out of needing play, you just get better at hiding it.
2. Interest
You know that thing you (or your loved one) can hyperfocus on for hours? That’s interest. The hard part? Most of life’s tasks don’t fall into this category. Try pairing the boring thing with something you do care about. Here are some examples:
Let’s say you hate doing dishes, but love true crime podcasts? Pair those two together and you have a new dishwashing ritual.
Can’t focus on emails but love coffee from Coffee Religion? Bribe yourself with some [good] coffee and do your emails there.
Find a hook. ADHD brains chase dopamine like it’s a full-time job. You just give it something worth chasing.
3. Novelty
New = shiny. Shiny = motivating.
This is why ADHDers suddenly get super motivated when buying new planners, apps, or pens (and yes, those Amazon packages full of “productivity tools” are absolutely part of this). Or why we’re suddenly training for marathons after we buy new running shoes. The novelty might wear off, but it gets you started. And that counts! Here are a couple of ways you can use novelty to motive you or a loved one:
Rearrange your desk setup to make it feel fresh again
Try a new app just to get through the same old routine. Just don’t forget to cancel that subscription before you get charged!
4. Challenge
ADHDers LOVE to gamify things and turn the mundane into something we can have fun with. ADHDers are also highly motivated by competition, which you already know if you’re parenting or married to one of us. What you might not know is that we can also channel our inner motivation by competing against ourselves.
Trying to do the dishes 30 seconds faster than you did them yesterday? That’s challenge.
Setting a 10-minute timer and racing your partner to see who can clean more? Also challenge.
Turning a to-do list into a bingo card? Challenge, again!
Making a spreadsheet because you “can’t wait to prove your partner wrong about your shared expenses”? Challenge.
Find the edge between doable and daring. That’s your sweet spot.
5. Hurry (aka a Deadline)
We all know this one. You didn’t want to do the thing… and then there were exactly 17 minutes left and your brain finally said “oh shit!” Here’s what this looks like:
You might not want to do the project, but now it’s 2 hours before the meeting and you don’t want to get fired
You won’t get paid unless you complete this task by midnight
Your therapist has a 24-hour cancellation policy, and you REALLY don’t want to pay their $150 cancellation fee if you don’t email them RIGHT NOW
Think of this as urgency unlocking executive function.
And if you don’t have a real deadline, make one. Text a friend and say, “Ask me in 20 minutes if I’ve done the thing.” External accountability works.
How Loved Ones Can Help (Without Nagging or Micromanaging)
Maybe you’re not the ADHDer, but you live with one, love one, or work with one. Here’s how you can support without accidentally turning into a walking to-do list reminder.
Ask what part of PINCH might help. Sometimes it’s not “I don’t want to do this,” it’s “This task isn’t hitting any of my brain’s activation buttons.” Help them find a way to make it fun, fast, or fresh.
Offer structure, not pressure. “Want to body double while we both work?” is way better than “Why haven’t you done this yet?”
Celebrate the weird wins. They finally cleaned out the car at midnight? That’s still a win.
Final Thoughts
Motivation isn’t about trying harder. It’s about understanding how your brain works, and then working with it instead of against it.
So whether you’re an ADHDer trying to trick your brain into doing laundry, or a partner wondering why your loved one just organized every closet except the one they were supposed to: remember PINCH. Play, Interest, Novelty, Challenge, Hurry.
Want more ADHD-friendly tips?
Wandering Pine Wellness supports ADHDers in real life, not just in theory. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or just tired of hearing “you just need to focus,” we get it.
👉 wanderingpinewellness.com/ADHD
Let’s find what works for your brain.
Wondering if you have ADHD? Schedule a testing session with us! Many commercial and government insurance plans accepted. You can learn more about our approach to testing here:
