Grief Therapy: How ACT Can Help You Heal and Find Meaning
By: Alexis Montes, LCSW
Understanding Grief and Its Impact on Mental Health
What Is Grief? Definitions and Types
Grief is often defined as the anguish experienced after a significant loss.
Types:
Common Grief is a natural response to loss, with an intensity that typically decreases over time.
Anticipatory grief will be talked about more later, but this is the type of loss that begins before a loss has actively occurred.
Complicated grief is defined by its prolonged nature of intense sorrow, preoccupation with loss, and a perceived inability to accept the reality of the loss.
Delayed grief is when typically seen grief symptoms are suppressed and can appear intensely later than expected.
Disenfranchised grief is associated with experiencing a loss that is socially seen as less significant by others or maybe even not acknowledged at all.
Emotional, Physical, and Behavioral Reactions
The grieving process provokes many different reactions, including; emotional, physical, and behavioral reactions.
Some common emotions associated with grief are sadness, anger, bitterness, confusion, disbelief, or guilt. At times, people can also describe feeling devoid of emotion with a sense of shock or numbness. Grief can manifest in the physical body with symptoms such as; fatigue, a weakened immune system, achiness, and gastrointestinal difficulties. Behavioral reactions from grief can become very serious, as bouts of tearfulness, changes in appetite/sleep, difficulty concentrating, and even intense overworking oneself are all seen at times.
No two grieving experiences are the same, these reactions deeply depend on each person and situation.
What Is Grief Therapy?
Goals and Benefits of Grief Counseling
Goals of grief therapy include: acceptance of the reality/finality of the loss, exploring/processing intense, complicated emotions, and improving day-to-day functioning.
Benefits that can be seen from grief counseling are reconnecting with loved ones, a greater understanding of one’s emotions, and finding steps to moving forward towards an improved quality of life.
Different Approaches to Grief Therapy
CBT: helps identify automatic thoughts/personal beliefs and take steps towards change in a positive, exploratory way.
ACT - ACT can help bring awareness to your emotions, assisting you in finding your next steps.
EFT - Grief is very overwhelming in nature and can cause breakdowns due to feeling so many things at the same time. EFT helps you identify specific emotions and process them individually.
Grief Therapy Options in Las VegasIn-person Therapy at Wandering Pine Wellness
Alexis Montes, LCSW, is a local Las Vegas provider who specializes in grief. Alexis has experience with grief both as a therapist and in social work case management, including in hospice care. Alexis is trained in ACT, EFT, and CBT to help clients cope with loss.
Online Grief Therapy for Nevada Residents
Wandering Pine Wellness provides grief therapy to residents all across Nevada. This can be incredibly helpful for folks living in rural areas of Nevada, like Ely or Tonopah. If you’re local to Las Vegas, you can see one of our therapists in person. With sessions offered in the early morning, evenings, weekends, and daytime hours, you don’t have to worry about taking time off of work to seek therapy. Visit our NV team page to learn more about our providers: wanderingpinewellness.com/nv-therapists
Community and Other Online Resources
Online support groups can be a helpful resource to those wishing to connect with others in the grieving journey. These support groups can often be found via local social media or even websites dedicated to grief support (like grieving.com or whatsyourgrief.com).
Many mobile apps can be of help to those grieving, including journaling apps to help process and release emotions, as well as meditation apps or apps like “Grief Refuge” that are specific to grief processing
If religious or spiritual beliefs are applicable in your case, it can be helpful to talk to someone who can provide you that spiritual support (e.g rabbi, priest, chaplain, or other faith-based providers)
Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for Grief
Core Principles of ACT
The six core principles of ACT can all be applied to the grief therapeutic process. All of these would be done simultaneously to help someone be more present with their feelings, accept those feelings, and take action towards a new direction that aligns with their values. Here are those principles and ways that they can be applied to loss.
Cognitive Defusion: Creating the ability to step back from the overwhelming thoughts/feelings and view them objectively, like we are watching them from afar, instead of drowning in them.
Acceptance of Emotions: Accepting emotions as they come and the realities behind the complexities being felt during grief is hard, but can help towards finding your next steps.
Present-Moment Awareness: This is building mindfulness skills to stay present in the here and now. This principle can help those grieving who often feel lost in thought or completely dissociated.
Self as Context: ACT recognizes two parts of yourself; thinking and observing. Building your self-awareness through observing can assist with accountability and recognizing how you change.
Values Clarification: Clarifying your values and the life you truly want to live is imperative in the grieving journey.
Committed action: Commited action is the process of committing yourself to these values you have clarified, so you can take active steps to move forward.
Allowing Space for Painful Emotions without Avoidance
Experiential avoidance is wanting to get rid of, avoid, or escape from unwanted emotions/memories. While avoidance is very understandable in the grieving process, avoidance is the direct opposite of acceptance. This is where working on the “A” in ACT becomes very applicable.
Often, this can include social isolation or withdrawal due to the depressed symptoms and guilt when experiencing joy. Other examples of experiential avoidance can include; drugs, alcohol, escapism through social media/TV, and sleeping in excess to avoid painful and overwhelming emotions. People experiencing grief also often avoid external reminders due to the sorrow it causes.
Grief is something that can often feel impossible to “face” due to the emotional overwhelm. This is why having a therapist trained in grief with you can be of great importance to provide relief and support through facing/accepting the realities associated in your grief journey
Reducing Self-Blame and Guilt
The traumatic nature of grief can often leave people searching for who is at fault or how things could be different. Many people may recognize this in the more commonly known term “stages fo grief”, specifically in the bargaining stage. Seeking a different ending or simply feeling guilty for the way certain experiences occurred is a very understandable yet often overwhelming. Some of the core principles of ACT, like cognitive defusion, can truly assist in reducing this overwhelm and allow people to provide themselves with more compassion and fairness.
Who Can Benefit from ACT in Grief Therapy?
Individuals coping with sudden loss
Grief related to job loss or layoffs
Individuals dealing with sudden death of a loved one
Individuals navigating new diagnoses related to chronic illness can
Individuals grieving loss of connection with a loved one after “no contact” boundaries have been placed.
Individuals navigating relationship loss which can include friend or romantic connections that recently ended
Anticipatory Grief (Terminal Illness, etc.)
Anticipatory grief can be classified as the grief experienced before a loss has technically occurred.
Examples include:
A diagnosis of a terminal illness or progressively declining illness for yourself or a loved one
Feeling a connection worsen and increase tension before a breakup occurs
Moving to a new place
Changing jobs or careers
Individuals may experience feelings of sadness, anger, or numbness as they grapple with the reality
Anticipatory grief can alter relationships, sometimes causing more tension as coping mechanisms differ, while other times leading to a desire for closer connections.
FAQ
How long does grief therapy usually last?
This really depends on each individual's circumstances and goals. Some symptoms can improve within a few months or some losses may require a longer time in treatment to see benefits due to the intense, wave-like nature of grief.
Can ACT be combined with medication or other therapies?
Of course! Many providers use ACT in conjunction with many other modalities to achieve a well-rounded and holistic approach. Medication can also be applicable to those who seek it, to assist with various symptoms, including depressive or anxious reactions to grief.
Can ACT help with prolonged grief disorder?
Absolutely! With the raw approach of looking at life values and next steps, ACT can be a great fit for those experiencing long-term grief-related symptoms.
How do I know if ACT is right for me?
You might know ACT would be a good fit if you felt a spark of interest or connection with the core principles mentioned earlier. ACT can be of great aid if you are looking for ways to accept overwhelming emotions and find a new path forward that aligns with your innate personal values/desires.
About the author, Alexis Montes, LCSW.