Treating Low Self-Esteem With ACT
By Kerry McCarthy, LPC, CPC, LMHC, LAC
If your inner critic has been running the show, it might be time to try a different approach: ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. This compassionate, mindfulness-based way of working helps you improve self-esteem with ACT, by treating yourself with the kindness and space you deserve
Understanding the Roots of Low Self-Esteem
At the core of low self-esteem are often deeply held beliefs. Words like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t matter,” “I always mess things up,” and “I’m not lovable” may replay over and over again in different situations.
These aren’t just passing thoughts—they can feel like facts. Often, they’re connected to painful life experiences that shaped how we see ourselves. In ACT, we recognize these beliefs for what they are: stories our mind tells us. Not necessarily truths, but well-practiced narratives that have been reinforced over time.
If you’re struggling with low self-worth, it’s important to know that these negative beliefs about yourself were learned over time—and they can be unlearned.
What Is ACT, and How Can It Improve Self-Esteem?
There are many types of treatment for low self-esteem, but ACT takes a unique approach. It doesn’t try to erase negative thoughts, it helps you relate to them differently. The goal isn’t to argue with your inner critic or prove it wrong, but to notice it, create distance from it, and choose how you want to live regardless of what it says.
Using ACT, you’ll learn to:
Notice self-critical thoughts without getting stuck in them (cognitive defusion)
Build psychological flexibility so you’re not ruled by fear or doubt
Clarify your values to identify what truly matters to you
Take committed action aligned with those values, even when your self-esteem feels low
Instead of waiting until you “feel better,” ACT helps you take action now. This makes it a powerful approach for those seeking low self-esteem help that goes beyond surface-level affirmations.
Why ACT Works for Building Confidence and Self-Worth
When you practice this new relationship with your thoughts, something shifts. You’re no longer constantly measuring your worth or needing to feel confident before making a move. You begin to act from intention rather than insecurity.
Clients working with an ACT approach often notice:
Less entanglement with their inner critic
Increased willingness to take risks
A stronger sense of purpose and direction
More self-kindness and less self-judgment
Freedom to show up more authentically
If you’re exploring how to improve self-esteem, this process builds real, sustainable change—not just fleeting boosts in confidence.
Practical ACT Exercises for Self-Esteem
If you want to try ACT for yourself, here are a few simple practices:
Name the inner critic: When that voice says “You’re not good enough,” try responding with, “Thanks, Mind.” It’s a small way of separating you from the thought.
Values check-in: Write down what matters most to you (maybe family, creativity, or honesty.) Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today that reflects this value?
Mindfulness pause: Take a few deep breaths, notice what’s happening in your body, and let the moment be what it is. This helps calm the nervous system and resets your perspective.
How ACT Helps Quiet the Inner Critic Without Ignoring It
Low self-esteem isn’t a personal flaw—it’s a human response to difficult life experiences. You may have learned to see yourself through a critical or fearful lens, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only lens available. With support, you can begin to build a different kind of relationship with your thoughts, your past, and your sense of self.
You don’t have to wait until you “feel better about yourself” to start living well. In fact, living well is often what helps you feel better about yourself.
FAQs: ACT and Self-Esteem
Can ACT really help with self-esteem?
Yes. ACT has been shown to help people build self-compassion and reduce the impact of self-critical thoughts, which naturally improves self-esteem.
What’s the difference between ACT and CBT for self-esteem?
CBT focuses on challenging and changing negative thoughts. ACT takes a different approach: it teaches you to notice, accept, and move forward with your values, even if the thoughts are still there.
If you’ve been stuck in cycles of self-criticism, ACT offers a fresh path forward. Instead of constantly battling your thoughts, you can learn to step back, show yourself compassion, and start living in a way that feels meaningful and sustainable.
Our ACT therapists are Laura (WA), Darlene (NV), and Kerry (WA, NV, and CO)
