Treating Low Self-Esteem: Rewriting the Inner Narrative with ACT
By Kerry McCarthy, LPC, CPC, LMHC, LAC
Low self-esteem doesn’t always show up loudly. Sometimes it hides in quiet self-doubt, perfectionism, over-apologizing, or a persistent inner critic that just won’t let up. It can influence how you see yourself, how you show up in relationships, and the decisions you make every day. The good news is that there are ways to build self-confidence and improve self-esteem—and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a powerful path forward.
Understanding the Roots of Low Self-Esteem
At the core of low self-esteem are often deeply held beliefs. Words like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t matter,” “I always mess things up,” and “I’m not lovable” may replay over and over again in different situations.
These aren’t just passing thoughts—they can feel like facts. Often, they’re connected to painful life experiences that shaped how we see ourselves. In ACT, we recognize these beliefs for what they are: stories our mind tells us. Not necessarily truths, but well-practiced narratives that have been reinforced over time.
If you’re struggling with low self-worth, it’s important to know that these negative beliefs about yourself were learned over time—and they can be unlearned.
How Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Helps with Low Self-Esteem
There are many types of treatment for low self-esteem, but ACT takes a unique approach. It doesn’t try to erase negative thoughts, it helps you relate to them differently. The goal isn’t to argue with your inner critic or prove it wrong, but to notice it, create distance from it, and choose how you want to live regardless of what it says.
Using ACT, you’ll learn to:
Notice self-critical thoughts without getting stuck in them (cognitive defusion)
Build psychological flexibility so you’re not ruled by fear or doubt
Clarify your values to identify what truly matters to you
Take committed action aligned with those values, even when your self-esteem feels low
Instead of waiting until you “feel better,” ACT helps you take action now. This makes it a powerful approach for those seeking low self-esteem help that goes beyond surface-level affirmations.
What Changes Over Time
When you practice this new relationship with your thoughts, something shifts. You’re no longer constantly measuring your worth or needing to feel confident before making a move. You begin to act from intention rather than insecurity.
Clients working with an ACT approach often notice:
Less entanglement with their inner critic
Increased willingness to take risks
A stronger sense of purpose and direction
More self-kindness and less self-judgment
Freedom to show up more authentically
If you’re exploring how to improve self-esteem, this process builds real, sustainable change—not just fleeting boosts in confidence.
Self-Esteem Isn’t About “Feeling Good” All the Time
There’s a common misconception that self-confidence means always thinking positively. But ACT invites a different perspective: you don’t need to get rid of negative thoughts to live a meaningful life. You just need the tools to stop letting them run the show.
This therapeutic approach aligns well with those searching for ways to build self-confidence that don’t rely on toxic positivity or unrealistic expectations.
You Are Not Broken
Low self-esteem isn’t a personal flaw—it’s a human response to difficult life experiences. You may have learned to see yourself through a critical or fearful lens, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only lens available. With support, you can begin to build a different kind of relationship with your thoughts, your past, and your sense of self.
You don’t have to wait until you “feel better about yourself” to start living well. In fact, living well is often what helps you feel better about yourself.
Curious About ACT Therapy?
If you’re looking for low self-esteem help that goes deeper than surface advice, ACT might be the approach for you. We’d love to support you in this process.
Our ACT therapists are Laura (WA), Darlene (NV), and Kerry (WA, NV, and CO)
Request an intake or free consultation to learn more about how we can help you overcome low self-worth and begin building the life you want.
