How to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions, Without Burning Out by February
By: Kerry McCarthy, LMHC, LPC, CPC, LAC
Every January, we’re flooded with messages about new year, new you. Set big goals. Dream bigger. Push harder. And yet by February many people feel discouraged, behind, or quietly giving up.
The problem usually isn’t motivation or willpower. It’s how the goals were set in the first place. If you want your New Year’s resolutions to actually stick, the key isn’t aiming higher, it’s making your goals realistic and achievable. One of the most effective ways to do that is by using the SMART goals framework.
Let’s walk through how to set resolutions that support growth without overwhelming your nervous system.
Why Lofty Goals Often Backfire
Big, vague resolutions like:
“I want to be healthier”
“I want to be less anxious”
“I’m finally getting my life together this year”
They all sound inspiring but they don’t give your brain anything concrete to act on. When goals are too broad or unrealistic, they can:
Trigger all-or-nothing thinking
Increase shame when progress feels slow
Lead to burnout or avoidance
Instead of motivating change, these goals often activate the stress response—making follow-through harder, not easier.
The SMART Goals Framework (A Gentler Approach)
SMART goals help turn intention into action by creating structure without rigidity. SMART stands for:
S – Specific
Ask yourself: What exactly am I trying to do?
❎ Instead of:
“I want to be less stressed.”
✔️Try:
“I want to practice one stress-management skill three times a week.”
Specific goals reduce decision fatigue and make it easier to get started.
M – Measurable
Your brain needs a way to track progress otherwise it assumes you’re failing.
❎Instead of:
“I’ll work on my mental health.”
✔️Try:
“I’ll attend therapy twice a month” or “I’ll journal for 10 minutes on weekdays.”
Measurable doesn’t mean rigid, it just means noticeable.
A – Achievable
This is where many resolutions fall apart.
Ask yourself:
Is this realistic given my current schedule, energy, and responsibilities?
Would I expect this goal from someone I care about?
❎Instead of:
“I’ll work out every day.”
✔️Try:
“I’ll move my body 2–3 times per week in ways I enjoy.”
An achievable goal builds confidence instead of resentment.
R – Relevant
Your goal should connect to why it matters to you, not who you think you “should” be.
Ask:
Why is this important right now?
Does this align with my values or current season of life?
Goals rooted in personal meaning are far more sustainable than goals rooted in guilt or comparison.
T – Time-Bound
Without a timeframe, goals tend to drift or become another source of pressure.
❎Instead of:
“I’ll eventually work on this.”
✔️Try:
“I’ll revisit this goal in 30 days and reassess.”
Time-bound goals can be flexible. Think check-ins, not deadlines.
Progress Over Perfection
One of the most common traps with New Year’s resolutions is the belief that consistency must be flawless.
But real change looks like:
Starting again after missing a week
Adjusting goals when life happens
Letting “good enough” count
You don’t fail a goal by modifying it. You fail it by abandoning yourself in the process.
A More Compassionate Way to Set Resolutions
Before finalizing any goal, try asking:
Does this goal support my well-being or punish me for not being “better”?
Would this still feel kind on a hard week?
Am I building something sustainable, or just trying to prove something?
When goals are grounded in self-trust rather than self-criticism, they’re far more likely to last.
Gentle Grounding Exercise: Setting One SMART Goal
Take a slow breath in through your nose… and exhale through your mouth.
Now, write down one goal for the next month:
Make it specific
Keep it small
Let it be kind
Remind yourself: meaningful change happens through repetition, not pressure.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
If your New Year’s resolutions are tied to anxiety, burnout, boundaries, or emotional health, working with a therapist can help you set goals that actually support your nervous system rather than overwhelm it.
At Wandering Pine Wellness, we help clients create realistic, values-based goals that fit their real lives. If you’re ready to approach this year with more clarity and compassion, we’d love to support you.
Reach out today to schedule a consultation and start the year grounded
